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Springfield Divorce Attorneys > Blog > Divorce > Keeping Mum About Divorce Plans

Keeping Mum About Divorce Plans


There are sometimes reasons to keep your divorce plans to yourself.  Splitting means taking two lives in separate directions; you’ll have different goals moving forward, and now is the time to think about what that means for you.  Developing a strategy for how to proceed can make the process more productive, and your experienced local divorce attorney can help you prepare for the coming months.

Why Quiet is Best 

In plenty of situations, there’s no problem at all with announcing your decision to file for divorce as soon as it’s been made.  Sometimes, however, discretion is absolutely necessary.  If you are concerned about any of the following scenarios, waiting to share your plans is a good idea:

  • Your relationship has a strong history of violence, and you suspect things will escalate if you tell your spouse you want a divorce;
  • Your spouse has mental health issues and you are concerned about the repercussions of a discussion about divorce;
  • You fear your spouse may try to hide your children from you;
  • You think your spouse will respond to the news by trying to hide assets, drain accounts, engage in excessive spending, or otherwise put you at a financial disadvantage.

Getting Organized and Moving Forward

If you’re fairly certain that you do want to divorce, instead of just thinking about it, jump in headfirst.  Only you can start the wheels turning.

  • Conduct some research. Be aware, however, that a suspicious spouse may try to track your internet searches, so be sure to clear any queries from the browser history.  Even better, conduct your search on a computer away from home, such as at a library or a trusted friend or family member’s house.
  • Maintain your normal routines and behavior to avoid raising suspicion;
  • If you’re concerned about being able to afford to support yourself, take heart in the fact that Missouri is an equitable distribution state and you are entitled to a fair portion of the marital assets. Nonetheless, try to build up a secret cache, and start looking for ways to earn a living when you’re on your own;
  • If you’re the breadwinner, make plans for living on just a portion of your income and sending some to your former spouse;
  • Don’t confide your plans with anyone who might accidently let it slip, including your children;
  • Cancel any joint accounts as you get closer to separating;
  • Figure out what your new living arrangements will be, considering issues like proximity to school and work, transportation options, and whether or not you want your location to be kept a secret from your spouse.

We Can Help 

At Courtney & Mills, our Springfield divorce attorneys understand the challenges you are facing and are here to help.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today to discuss your circumstances.



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