Dating During Divorce
If you are going through a divorce, you may start to think about dating someone new. There are good reasons to move forward with this idea under certain circumstances, although there are also some major perils, as well. Is dating during divorce the right move for you?
Think it Through
While it’s possible to enter a healthy dating relationship while waiting for your divorce to be finalized, it’s important to be sure that you are emotionally prepared for it. Do you want to date to enhance your life, or to aggravate your spouse? Is dating something you can do openly? Can you take things a day at a time? Are you able to be honest with yourself and others about your feelings and goals? What does your attorney say about it? These are just a few of the questions you should analyze very thoroughly before jumping into the world of dating.
Benefits of Dating
There are several ways in which dating can increase the level of fun and stimulation in your life. Instead of sitting home alone mulling things over, you can be out and about, enjoying people and activities that can get your mind off of your impending divorce. And if your confidence has taken a nosedive, getting back into the dating scene can give you a little boost, enhancing your esteem and giving you a little hope for the future.
Concerns About Dating
Sure, getting back out there can be exciting—even exhilarating! But doing so while still married can have its drawbacks:
- You may be tempted to ignore the pain related to your divorce rather than process it. Whether the divorce was a shock or consensual, and regardless of who initiated it, there are life-lessons you should be contemplating to some degree.
- Your spouse may believe that any new relationship existed previously and may claim that it was a root cause of the divorce. If they can convince the judge of this, it has the potential to subliminally impact the judge’s view of the case and eventual rulings. In Missouri, the law requires a “just” division of assets; an affair is only supposed to matter to the judge if marital funds were used to support the extramarital affair (gifts, travel, activities, etc.) or if the dating has a negative impact on the kids (if you’re dating a drug dealer, for instance).
- It may make your ex jealous, which could minimize cooperation as you negotiate the terms of the divorce.
- It may simply hurt your ex, which could feel like kicking someone who’s already down.
- It may take your focus off of your kids, who really need you right now.
- You may be sending a non-verbal message to your kids that being alone is frightening or too difficult to endure.
- Friends and family may be judgmental about your dating, creating more stress and less support for you.
Getting it Right
Divorce can be complicated. The experienced Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills will help you to get it right and fight for the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.
Source:
revisor.mo.gov/main/OneSection.aspx?section=452.330
