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Springfield Divorce Attorneys > Blog > Divorce > Don’t Make This Mistake in Your Divorce

Don’t Make This Mistake in Your Divorce


If you are heading for a divorce, it goes without saying that you and your spouse don’t see eye to eye.  But parting ways means you’re also divvying up assets, time with the kids, bills, and more. Depending on how you two choose to handle things, it can either be a civil and fairly reasonable experience, or it can be a total nightmare.

You Choose the Cost

 While an uncontested divorce can run between $1,500 to $5,500, you can spend well over $100,000 if the divorce is a messy one. That’s because divorce attorneys generally charge by the hour, and if they have to trudge through a bunch of ticky-tack disputes, it’s going to cost you.

Take Charge 

By taking charge of your emotions, you can simply communicate effectively with your soon-to-be ex and solve minor disputes rather than putting your attorney in the middle of every single disagreement. So how do you rein in those negative feelings and communicate effectively with someone you’ve had trouble connecting with all along?

1-       Never communicate when you’re feeling upset.  Calm waters are much easier to navigate!

2-       Only communicate when it’s necessary. Limiting time together brings down the chances of problems.

3-       Keep the divorce private and keep your plans for a new life private. Social media is one of the worst ways to antagonize your spouse as you maneuver through a divorce.

4-       Instead of yelling, maintain a level tone as much as you can.

5-       Figure out the best way to communicate, whether that’s through email, phone calls, text, or in person.  Then set boundaries and stick to them as to how often and in what manner communication will occur.

6-       Stick to current issues, and don’t waste time dragging up past issues.

7-       Don’t involve family –especially your children– as go-betweens.  If you can’t manage to come to an agreement, consider mediation, or perhaps handing that particular issue off to the attorneys to handle.

8-       Prepare yourself for communications in advance, with an eye toward demonstrating respect and kindness, especially when it comes to difficult topics.

9-       Instead of making hasty decisions, take the time to think things through and come back to issues after really considering the pluses and minuses of each decision.

10- Be willing to compromise, understanding that divorce necessarily involves give and take. You may have to sacrifice some things that are important to you in order to come out sane on the other side of divorce.

 Advocating for You 

The caring and experienced Springfield divorce attorneys at Courtney & Mills are dedicated to achieving the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss your goals, schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.



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