Effective Co-Parenting

Divorce is never easy, but one thing you’re determined to do is co-parent in a way that demonstrates to your children that they are loved and valued by each parent, despite the split. For some families that sounds like a Herculean goal, but the truth is, it can be done with some simple adjustments to actions and attitudes.

Safety First

Most importantly, the safety of you and your children is the top priority. Co-parenting is not for families who’ve suffered domestic violence in previous situations. The court should know about those events and shield you and your children from further unsupervised interactions with a violent parent.

Understanding Co-Parenting 

For typical divorcees, co-parenting is a wonderful way to team up as parents, even though the marriage did not work out. It acknowledges that children are vulnerable during and after a divorce and helps them to deal with changes that they may not have planned or wanted, but are certainly impacted by. It may not feel natural at first, but with training and practice it can result in emotionally healthy kids and satisfying relationships all around.

Communication is Key 

The first, and most critical aspect of co-parenting centers around communication. Parents will necessarily share information related to children’s schedules, school progress, health, and other matters. Doing so efficiently keeps both parents in the know related to their kids. Communication that is respectful demonstrates to children that it’s not only okay—it’s actually important to value both parents and allow them to contribute to their children’s well-being.

Communication with children, too, is critical. They will have questions and feelings that may be difficult to address, but it is essential for them to have those issues honestly acknowledged. Parents must demonstrate in word and deed that the divorce involves the adults and does not affect the love parents have for their children. That means protecting children from negative feelings and judgments about one’s former spouse.

Choose Your Battles 

You and your ex didn’t agree on everything when you were married, so don’t expect that to change when you’re divorced. You may not see eye-to-eye about everything, but remember that you are a team working on behalf of the kids. Even when things don’t go according to your plan, it’s critical that you give your ex a bit of wiggle room to navigate the new reality. It’s just not helpful to nit-pick over every little thing. Save it for things that impact the kids’ safety or well-being.

Advocating for You 

The experienced Springfield family law attorneys at Courtney & Mills are in your corner. For all of your divorce needs, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.