Why Men Have A Harder Time Recuperating From Divorce
Everyone knows that adapting to life after divorce can be difficult, but you may not realize that, according to research, adjustment is much more difficult for men than it is for women. The fact is, divorced men have more heart issues, battle with substance abuse, and die at younger ages than do divorced women. What’s behind this phenomenon?
Marriage Makes Men Happy
Studies indicate that men are typically much happier in his marriage than women. Women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings, leaving men to feelings of abandonment, hopelessness, and loneliness. Mental, emotional, and physical deterioration often follow. With no one to monitor their behaviors or inspire them to be better, men often become more isolated, and pick up smoking, drinking, and other bad habits.
Being Alone is Hard for Men
Some think that because men often remarry quickly following a divorce, they must get over the pain of the divorce more quickly. But nothing could be further from the truth. Men tend to hang on to their marriages longer than women do, and they have more negative attitudes about divorce than women. Dealing with lost social connections, finances, and intimacy is more emotionally jarring, as well. On top of these issues, they often deal with disappointment and loneliness related to the custody arrangements. For many men, being alone is tough.
They Don’t Have the Support They Need
Unfortunately, many men often lack the close networks that women come by naturally in their daily lives. They have few, if any truly close friends in whom to confide, and are generally less connected to their families than women tend to be. That leaves them alone as they try to process the events and feelings that are occurring as their marriage falls apart. To make matters worse, men are also less likely to seek counseling during their time of need.
While women tend to submerge themselves in their grief and loss, men are much more likely to skip—or ignore– the grieving process altogether. That leaves men unsure as to how to proceed through the uncertainties of the future.
So why do men tend to suffer greater health decline than women following divorce? Is it because they have no one at home preparing healthy meals and keeping them busy with productive activities? Does depression lead to inactivity? The science on the “why” behind this issue is unclear, although the fact of serious health issues for men is very much a reality.
Creating a New Identity
Because men tend to have fewer strong social ties than women, their identity is more closely tied to their roles as husband and father. When those roles are eliminated or diminished, men often have a more difficult time creating new personal goals and an identity than women.
Making it as Easy as Possible
At Courtney & Mills our compassionate, experienced Springfield family attorneys are prepared to provide the support and guidance you need as you traverse this difficult time in your life. We know there is nothing easy about divorce; but knowing you are in capable hands is a start. Schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.