How Do You Know if Divorce is the Right Move?

If you are feeling ambivalent about getting a divorce, don’t beat yourself up. You are considering one of the most dramatic and life-changing events possible. A decision this big shouldn’t be easy. If it’s something that’s been on your mind for a while, it may be worthwhile to seek clarity through some questions. If you can be truly honest with yourself, the best answer for you may arise with some deep thought and measured reasoning.

• Have you imagined life without your spouse? Does the idea appeal to you, or does it cause you anxiety and fear?
• Have you discussed your feelings of dissatisfaction with your spouse and given them a chance to make changes?
• Have you changed in ways that have harmed the relationship?
• Do you feel so discouraged with your marriage that you simply don’t believe it can be saved?
• Has your spouse betrayed you, leaving you feeling disrespected, demeaned, and unloved?
• Have there been important ways in which you believe your spouse has fallen short of your expectations? Whether the issue is financial, trust, loyalty, or something else, do you feel your spouse is unwilling to put forth the effort needed to address your needs?
• Is your spouse controlling or coercive? Do you feel left out of important decision-making in the relationship?
• Is domestic violence an issue in your relationship? Do you fear for your physical safety, or that of your children?
• Do you argue about the same things over and over again? Are there unresolved issues that one or both of you just can’t let go of?
• Do you find yourself feeling attraction toward someone else? Do you want to—or have you already—explored another connection?
• Is intimacy alive and well, or dead and gone?
• Have you made serious, long-term commitments to repairing rifts, only to find that nothing—counseling, prayer, etc.—makes a real difference?
• Do you feel unsupported in your goals and efforts to achieve personal or professional growth?
• Do you or your spouse feel resentment about serious issues, and believe there is no route toward solving those feelings?
• Is addiction of any kind disrupting the health and well-being of you and/or your partner?
• Is clinical depression in your or your spouse a serious problem?
• Are your expectations of your spouse fair and reasonable?

Will Counseling Help? 

As you weigh these and other issues in your marriage, you may conclude that divorce is the only way to find happiness. On the other hand, perhaps you will discover that counseling could be just the intervention you need to get your marriage back on track. Ultimately, only you and your spouse can make the final decision as to how to move forward.

Is Divorce the Right Move? 

If you choose to divorce, the dedicated and experienced Springfield divorce attorneys at Courtney & Mills are here to fight for the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/201908/finding-clarity-how-do-i-make-the-decision-divorce