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Courtney & Mills, LLC  Approaching Every Case with Strength, Education and Respect
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When She Wants Out Of The Marriage: 10 Divorce Tips For Men


Women ask their husbands for divorce more often than the other way around.  If your wife surprises you with the news that she wants to call it quits, you need to put together a plan, and fast.  Here’s some advice that might make the coming months a little easier.

1-    Don’t try to ignore the fact that your wife wants a divorce.  Pretending it isn’t happening is not going to make it go away.  Sit down and talk it out– and then connect with a local divorce attorney who can help you with next steps.

2-    Forget trying to talk her into staying together.  There may be plenty of reasons to stay together—kids and money come to mind—but be smart.  She brought up the idea of divorce, which means she’s been mulling it over for quite some time.  If she finally has the courage to bring it up, she’s serious.  So buckle up for the ride.

3-    Stay calm.  Stay nice.  Don’t give in to any instincts you may have to punish her for wanting to leave you.  If you can’t control your emotions and behavior, keep your distance until you can and let your attorney handle all the communications.

4-    Keep the kids out of it.  Protect them from the challenges and let them know they’re loved and will be safe even though things will be changing.

5-    Get an idea of the kind of settlement you’d prefer, but do not make any agreements without your attorney.  There are always things worth considering that you may not fully understand, like tax implications, impacts on retirement, and a whole slew of other issues.  So be sure to let your competent, experienced divorce attorney in on any decisions.

6-    If you have kids and want shared or total custody, do not move out of the family home.  She may tell you, ask you, order you to get out.  But do not do so if you want any chance of keeping the kids.

7-    Do not quit your job in order to eliminate your income and get out of making support payments.  You absolutely do not want to be the kind of man who weasels out of his responsibilities.  Man up and take care of what needs to be taken care of.

8-    Don’t punish yourself for feeling sad or angry.  Give yourself a break; a divorce is a big deal.  Allow yourself time to manage those feelings, and get help with them if they become overwhelming.

9-    Take care of yourself.  Address your physical, social, mental, emotional and spiritual needs; it will make the rest a bit easier.

10- Put off dating for a while.  Get into a clear headspace before you complicate your life further.

Your Legal Advocate 

At Courtney & Mills, our knowledgeable Springfield family attorneys are prepared to advocate for you as you traverse a difficult path.  We do what we can to ensure the best possible results for you in your divorce.  Schedule a confidential consultation today.

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