Healing After Divorce

If just thinking about your divorce brings on pangs of despair, you’re not alone.  There are many people for whom divorce causes serious agony. But the pain doesn’t last forever; you will be okay. Here are some things that may help get you through it:

• Acknowledge that the intensity of what you’re feeling will not last forever. A new life is ahead and, while it’s normal to miss pieces of the old life, you can and will keep moving forward.
• Don’t take things personally. Regardless of the reasons for ending the marriage, just take the lessons you need from it and say good-bye. There’s no point in thrashing yourself and trying to figure out the ways in which you weren’t good enough. You just didn’t work as a couple. Period. Move on.
• Develop a philosophy for yourself acknowledging that, while you don’t know exactly what’s ahead for you, you are a capable person who will figure it out.
• Don’t hold expectations for your ex. You obviously didn’t mesh when you were married, so there’s no reason to think they are going to change going forward.
• Figure out who your real friends are and let them help. Some shared friends may be lost, so accept that and learn to rely on yourself and the people you can trust to have your back.
• Embrace being alone. Romantic relationships may be out there for you down the road but get comfortable with yourself first.
• Seek out a good therapist. Professional help can be just the thing you need to process your feelings of loss, anger, and whatever else you are experiencing.
• Consider getting a pet. If you feel lost and alone, it could be helpful to have something that relies on and adores you.
• Take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating and sleeping well and getting the exercise you need to be at your best.
• Give yourself a good sprucing up. A new hairstyle, teeth whitening, or a nice new outfit might be just the ticket to feeling like a fresh start is a good thing.
• Try a new activity or develop a new hobby. It can help by giving you something different to focus on, giving you new skills, and introducing you to new people.
• If you have kids, prioritize their needs while also taking time to deal with your own stuff. Don’t make them responsible for you; just let them be kids and support them.
• Keep your dates away from the kids.
• Instead of trying to figure out how to punish your ex, simply learn and grow and glow.
• The pain is real. Let it go–for yourself.

Getting Through It 

The experienced Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills have years of experience handling divorces of all kinds. Let us help you with yours. We always strive to get the best possible outcomes for you. Schedule a confidential consultation today.