Living Together Post-Divorce

More and more divorced couples wind up living together after their divorce these days. A lot of the driving force behind this is economic pressures, what with inflation, housing costs, and the like.  Is it a good option for you?

Benefits 

Without question, sharing the cost of housing and more can ease much of the stress couples face when divorcing. The idea of trying to afford two households on the same income that has traditionally been directed at just one can be overwhelming, to say the least. Why wouldn’t people who struggle to make ends meet consider cohabitation? Sharing a house but carving out specific areas for one or the other makes a lot of sense.

But the benefits don’t end there. For couples with children, what could be better than having both parents readily accessible every day? Staying in the same home could provide kids with a level of stability that they might not otherwise have.

Finally, even though couples lose a partner in divorce, by living together they may not have to restructure their entire lives. Being able to share the workload in the ways they always have done means daily routines are nothing new. That takes one more bit of anxiety out of the picture.

The Challenges 

Of course, if that’s all there was to living together post-divorce, everyone would do it! The challenges to such an arrangement are nothing to shrug about:

• It may be difficult to move on and build a new life if your ex is living downstairs.
• Privacy could be a huge issue, especially when one or both individuals starts dating. Even if the divorcees are cool with things, the people they want to date may not be.
• There could be serious issues surrounding unresolved pain, resentment, and anger. Living together could be akin to waiting for a bomb to go off.

Rules Might Help

For couples considering living together after their divorce, it’s worth considering a few basic rules to make the whole thing more workable:

• Agree on the division of labor. Be sure each person understands their household and childcare responsibilities and is prepared to meet them.
• Make individual budgets and make sure you both know who’s paying for what.
• Create clear emotional boundaries and avoid leaning on one another in the ways couples tend to do.
• Keep romantic escapades to yourself.
• Absolutely avoid intimacy in moments of attraction or need. It will only complicate things in an already complex situation.
• Help children to understand the arrangement and how it is different from staying married.
• Behave with respect and civility.

Getting it Right

The experienced Springfield divorce attorneys at Courtney & Mills understand that every divorce is unique, and every couple has different needs and expectations. We strive to help you achieve your goals in divorce. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation today.