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Courtney & Mills, LLC  Approaching Every Case with Strength, Education and Respect
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Are You a Man Who Needs Out of a Marriage Because You’re Abused?


If you’re of the opinion that domestic violence (DV) occurs only against women, you are sadly mistaken.  Men suffer as victims of DV almost as frequently as women do, and they often have additional issues to work out. Who can they tell without being viewed as a weakling?  When facing the inherent biases in society, how can they reach out for help? It’s a serious issue, because without question, men do find themselves on the receiving end of family violence more often than some might imagine.

It’s a Legitimate Problem 

The Center for Disease Control reports that 14 percent of males surveyed say they’ve experienced serious violence at the hands of an intimate partner during the course of the relationship. The violence suffered includes everything from hair-pulling, kicking and punching, to suffocating, choking, beatings, burnings, and threats with knives or guns. If that’s not domestic violence, nothing is.


When we think about domestic violence, we generally think of victims as females who suffer at the mercy of their bullying partners. While this is often the case, it does not encompass every  case of domestic violence. All kinds of couples experience DV, including heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, and trans couples. We know that DV occurs when men harm women, when women harm women, when men harm men, and when women harm men.

Men though, like many women, are afraid their stories will not be believed when they report the abuse or try to get help. They think others will judge them, thinking they deserve the abuse they get. Unlike women, men know there’s a good chance they will be viewed as unmasculine and weak.  In cases where the man is bigger or stronger than his intimate partner, it may be hard for some to believe he is being abused. Nonetheless, men are, indeed, abused by domestic partners with startling frequency, and often suffer the additional humiliation of bias:

  1. Literally hundreds of studies corroborate that when in violent relationships, women are just as likely to be the aggressor as men. In fact, roughly forty percent of reports relating to serious violence dispersed by a former or current partner were filed by men, most of whom reported being attacked by women.
  2. Nonetheless, we know that when police are called to investigate a domestic dispute, they are more likely to arrest both individuals only when dealing with same-sex couples, whereas when dealing with heterosexual couples, they arrest men.
  3. Another indication of bias: women are much more likely to be granted a protective order than men.
  4. Finally, when scenarios involving domestic violence were presented to mock juries, research shows that they are more likely to assign blame to men than to women, regardless of the way in which the scenario is set up in terms of aggressors.

Men Need Legal Help

 Are you a man whose partner is abusive, but who is reluctant to get help simply because of your gender?  The experienced Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills can help.  We listen.  We guide you through your legal options, from getting a protective order to getting a divorce.  Call for a confidential consultation in your office today.

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